Friendships Shouldn’t be That Complicated and Here’s Why...

Part 1 of 3

Friendships shouldn’t be complicated - They are your Good Companions but what are they for?

One of the things that has an impact on my mindset and well-being is my friendships and my acquaintances. It was one of the things I needed to analyse and consider changing. I needed to change the company in which I keep to become a better person I wanted to become and achieve what I’m trying to achieve.

Friendship is a gift and can be an amazing thing. It's a different type of connection that you don't share with your parents and other family members. We need people in our lives for those moments where we need to be encouraged, supported and to help us to grow.

Some will disagree but we all need friends. I was once told ”you don't need friends” and that “you can’t trust friends”, yet “it is not good for man to be alone”. Besides, if you can’t trust someone, they’re not your friend. No matter what, we still need companionship and to be amongst people, we have a natural desire to belong. So to those who say that they "don’t need anyone" or "all good by themselves"; you may need to realise isolation can provoke worries, anxiety and depression. It can even make you unhappy or a bitter person. You may feel that you are better alone but you were made for people around you.

Do you find yourself always questioning who your friends are?

What are your friends good for?

1. For growth - (You can learn things from each other.)

2. For Emotional Support - (Friends can help encourage you and comfort you.)

3. For Better Health - (Some research suggest that having good friends helps reduce pain, high blood pressure and stress.) Have a look for yourself.

4. For Social Enjoyment.

5. To reach your Goals.

We actually get to choose our friends. You get to choose who can have access to you. You get to choose who you invest your time and energy in to, and what you will and won’t tolerate. But it’s important to choose wisely.

Growing up we have formed friendships out of the following elements; such as proximity (the same area), Shared Space (same workplace, same school), or because they shared a common hobby or interest by default. We formed friendships without considering a person's character or their intentions, But we need to be cautious on how we choose our friends, who we are dealing with and who we choose to go through life with.

They say who you surround yourself with will have an impact on who you become, your life and growth. They can influence your choices.

Sit among the wise and you too can learn a thing or two and become wise but sit in the midst of fools and you will get harmed. "Bad company corrupts good behaviour".

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Friendship is something I question. What does it mean to be a good friend to others as well as who can you call a friend?

I spent so many years trying to keep them happy, trying to be a good friend to the old and the new. (But of course, to some friends' nothing you do will ever be good enough) to the point I neglected myself. Some of us will make the wrong decisions, as a result of wrong counsel from the wrong type of friends. (or because sometimes we try to handle stuff by ourselves, without considering wise counsel). Sometimes we isolate ourselves and become ‘busy’ to everyone even to our actual friends, when we need them. We end up neglecting our real friends, developing trust issues, and refusing to let anyone in.

Are you trying to go through life alone?

Some people choose to fight alone, thinking if they admit they are in need of help; people will look and treat them differently. You need friends at times like these to fight your corner when you can’t fight. Someone who can stand back-to-back with you. People can’t force their way in, you have to let people in. Let them know when you’re going through things and when you need help. Also, let them know your wins, so they can celebrate your wins with you.

There are so-called friends out there cutting friends off because they weren't present to celebrate wins or losses. Yet you never share it with them. So how can someone celebrate or help you if they don’t know anything good or bad is happening to you?

Sometimes It gets to a point you don’t even know who you are anymore and you lose your identity. That's when I realised I had misunderstood who you call a friend and the type of friend You should be. If we worry too much about being liked by everyone, we end up dedicating our life to meeting their expectations to avoid their wrath. We can never fully know what other people want or expect from us. Even if we did know; trying to meet their expectations, will only result in exhaustion and depression.

We need to learn that sometimes being a nice person doesn't necessarily make you a good friend. Not everyone nice is your friend. I started paying attention to a person's character and intentions before investing in friendship. Whether this is right or wrong I can’t say. But it has certainly taught me about myself and forming relationships with others.

How are the people around you affecting you and your mindset?

What type of people do you want to grow through life with?

Who would you want to stand back-to-back with?

Who around you can you call a friend?

And what type of friend are you?

Friendships shouldn’t be that complicated if you can tell who they are Find out more in Part 2 of this Blog series.

Remember

Everyone needs friends.

Choose your friends Wisely.

Companionship is a good thing.

Surround yourself with Good Company to improve your quality of life and to also help you achieve your purpose.

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